Best of Both Worlds
by Angeldust1
Summary: Cordelia and the others thought they were through with dimensional portals for goo, but they're proven wrong when she has to see things from a different perspective...herself.


Title:Best of Both Worlds  
  
Rating: Um...I guess PG, for a couple bad words. But they're not real bad, I promise!  
  
Summary:Cordelia thinks her time spent with alternate dimensions is over, but she's proven wrong when she is forced to see a different perspective from someone she's never known...herself.  
  
Disclaimer:I don't own anything here. It's all Joss, WB, yadda yadda yadda...  
  
Time Frame:The summer between Seasons 2 and 3.  
  
  
NEW YORK  
Cordelia stared at the small group of vampires that stood between her and the mouth of the alley. They'd been clever, working her into the position much like that of a trapped animal, and she knew it. She'd seen it coming even though she could do nothing about it. There were five of them and only one of her, after all.  
  
Still, she thought to herself lightly, that doesn't mean I'm beaten. Far from it, since she'd successfully killed as many as seven vampires in one fight. All it took was a little outsmarting, and when it came to vamps, she could dance circles around them when it came to a battle of wits.  
  
"I don't suppose you'd be so kind as to let me pass, gentlemen?" she asked conversationally.  
  
One vampire who looked to be the leader of their little play club narrowed his golden eyes at her, no doubt surprised by her innocent question. In times like these, her British accent worked to her advantage,"Such a polite girl, but do have any idea what you're facing?"  
  
She looked like she was thinking hard,"I'd say a rather ugly group of people that look as if they need to be concentrating on moisturizing that horrid skin and not preying on supposedly helpless little girls."  
  
"Supposedly?"  
  
She could sense the vampire's hesitation at that last remark and she took advantage of the moment to withdraw a long sharp stake from inside her black jacket and throw it, perfectly aimed, through the air toward the leader. It moved so fast it whistled, and all he had time to do was watch the weapon until it buried itself in his chest with a meaty thump. The move was simple and to the point (no pun intended), and Cordelia couldn't hold down the swell of pride that made her smile at the remaining four demons as the dust that was their companion settled. They looked less than happy, to say the least. In fact, their ridges faces held a strange combination of fury that this one little girl had taken out their leader without so much as a fight and extreme terror, since they knew that they were next.  
  
"Good riddance, I say," she said as she took a step toward them,"it's about time you stopped being followers."  
  
All the group did was snarl in response, hoping to scare her, but she would have none of it. Cordelia had grown up knowing about the other part of the world than the one most humans became accustomed with, and she'd been fighting vampires longer than she could remember. After her father had been killed by a lone vampire, she'd put it on herself to fight them, even though she had only been fourteen years old. Twenty-one now, she knew how to survive against things that would make anybody else cower.  
  
The vampires had lost their sense of unity now, they all moved with a sense of protecting themselves only, and that would prove to be a fatal mistake. She moved toward the closest one without hesitating, already planning her first move. The vamp, a short female with greasy black hair, hissed as she realized she was her target.   
  
Cordelia let loose with a snap kick in the vamp's face, sending her stumbling. The demon grabbed her nose as the blood seeped down her face. It was no doubt broken, but Cordelia wasn't done with her yet. As she moved to follow through, she felt the vampire behind her, awaiting the moment that he would take her by surprise. Cordelia pivoted on her heels as she threw another stake at the vamp. Again, it hit it's target, as always, and the demon exploded intio dust. She was facing the female a split second later and gave her a series of punches to her face and solar plexus. Her hands came back bloody from the vampire, but she didn't notice, only saw the rhythm that was the battle, almost as if it were a delicate dance. The joy of the violence swelled withing her, and Cordelia's heart began to sing at the destruction to these filthy creatures. Nothing else was known to her. Just the fight.  
  
Punch, kick, kick, follow through with an elbow, and dust.  
  
Another vampire, behind. Roundhouse kick to the chest, then punch, punch, dust.  
  
This was where she belonged, in the violence and rage that was the battle. She dusted another vampire, and Cordelia felt like she was floating. The joy filled her so intensely that she couldn't help but laugh out loud.   
  
  
  
  
LOS ANGELES  
Cordelia knew that this was not Passionate Peach. The bottle said otherwise, but the color that showed on her nails was so incredibly dark and un-peachy that she visibly grimaced,"Why me?" she groaned as she grabbed a tissue and began removing the stuff from her fingernails,"God, the PTB can't even give me enough of a break to let me find the color of nail polish I want?"  
  
Of course, no one answered. Angel was gone on patrol, something he'd been doing a lot of since they'd found out about Buffy, and Gunn, Wesley, and Fred were off somewhere playing with their sharp toys and dusty books. It seemed like they all tried to stay more busy now since Willow had come to them a couple months ago with the news of Buffy's death. Even thought Fred hadn't known her, hadn't really understood, she'd gone along with everyone else and stayed involved in things that wouldn't have made a difference had it been a normal day. In fact, she was gone for a few days, visiting relatives. Catching up. Even though it had taken Angel a few hours to convince her to get out. She was obviously still scared to death of everything.  
  
She could still remember Angel's face, a mixture of disbelief and complete agony, could still hear his whispered words of denial. It had been heartbreaking to her. She just couldn't seem to get it out of her head, no matter how many times a day she re-painted her nails, and Fred's nails, for that matter.  
  
She could still remember the following month so clearly that she could've swarn it had happened today. The silences that seemed so intense that she had felt like she would explode, the days on end when he wouldn't even appear from his room. It was during those times that Wesley had decided to set up the office in the hotel again, just to be near Angel. The vampire hadn't refused. He hadn't agreed either. In fact, they were still waiting for an official answer from him, even though the hotel had been Angel Investigations headquarters for at least a month now.  
  
Cordelia pushed the bottle of polish away with a sigh that seemed to reach so far inside her she felt like it was coming from her soul. Things had improved, but barely. Angel had gone into overdrive with the fighting evilness part of the job, which, granted, was better than holing himself up in his room, but he'd been so closed up to the rest of them, including her. That had hurt. A lot, and it still did. He had cut himself off from the rest of the world, and while she had no fear of him going psycho on them again, she genuinely worried about her best friend's state of mind.  
  
"It's not healthy." she found herself whispering, and she couldn't help but remember her mother saying that very same phrase to her about hanging around with Buffy and the Scooby gang. Back then, she had completely agreed with her, but now, she considered it one of her first lessons in what true friendship could be. Not for her, of course. She'd been too much of a bitch to make any close friends, but just seeing what it was like...now, she was grateful for Wes, Gunn, and Angel. More than they would ever know.   
  
"I miss her too, you know," Cordelia said to Angel softly. He didn't seem to hear her, just kept staring at the wall of his bedroom from his position on the bed,"I mean, I know I'll never know what you two had, never really know, but she's made a difference in my life, too."  
  
Angel turned to regard her, and his eyes searched her intensely, almost as if he was looking for any clue that would give away her lie,"I'll never see her again."  
  
"Angel...," Cordelia moved toward the bed a little, wanting to be closer to him, but she didn't know if he wanted it. She stopped just short of his bed and searched for the right words to say to a two hundred forty-seven year old vampire who'd heard everything in the book,"I know it sounds unbelievable, but I was hurting so bad after Doyle died that I went to bed every night wanting to kill myself for the next month after what happened," she watched his eyes widen, and she continued,"I don't know if you really believe me, but I did. I just...," she blinked away tears at the memory of the pain she'd endured after his death,"I guess I didn't want to show it."  
  
The deep hurt in his chocolate-colored eyes turned to concern for a moment,"You could've told me."  
  
" I should've," she answered,"it probably would've spared me some of the emotional crap I was going through, but I didn't," she could tell she was finally reaching him,"and I just...I just want you to know that no matter how much you may want to do something like I wanted to do," she paused as the fresh tears welled up, but she couldn't stop them from spilling over onto her cheeks,"you have people here who love you so much, and you-you have a best friend who's here for you, no matter what." she bit her lip, hoping the tears would quit coming, but only succeeded in crying harder and harder until she was sobbing. Her legs felt as if they were made of rubber, and she wobbled dangerously.   
  
After only a moment's hesitation, Angel pulled her into his arms, and she cried against his chest,"Please...," she managed to gasp out in between sobs,"please don't go away again."  
  
"Cordy...," she felt his chest rise beneath her, taking in an uneeded breath. She thought he would continue, but he didn't. He only continued to hold her as she leaned against him. After a few moments, the sound of her crying was joined by his own pain, let loose through tears that had been waiting to be shed since four days ago, the day his world had been destroyed by news of Buffy's death. Together, they cried and cried, until there were no tears left in either of them, and they could only sit there in silence.  
  
Cordelia wiped a stray tear from her cheek. That had been the only time they had discussed Buffy's death, the only time he had been willing to talk about it. It was then that she had realized that she was scared for Angel, scared about what he would do, since she'd been to such an awful place herself. While she had been devastated by Buffy's death as well, she had been more upset at the possibility of him leaving them...leaving her again. Of course, she had felt selfish thinking that way, but she couldn't help it, no matter how much she hated herself. Still, Angel had seemed to understand, and that was all she'd needed.  
  
  
  
  
NEW YORK  
Cordelia heaved a huge sigh of contentment as she strolled from the alley. A battle with five vampires, and she had barely a scratch on her. That was the advantage of years and years of hard training over in England, before she'd come to America for some fresh prey to hunt. In the U.S., she wasn't known of at all, unlike her home country, where she'd achieved a reputation of being the only natural predator to vampires. Therefore, they had taken great lengths to avoid her. Here though, they were still stupid and ignorant, thinking she was just another meal. Word would spread, but until then, she had the advantage.  
  
She began the fifteen minute walk to her apartment, over in another part of New York. Cordelia didn't mind. It gave her time to calm down from the many battles she'd already fought. She ran a hand through her short, almost boyishly short hair, and breathed in, taking in the dark atmosphere of the Big Apple. She loved the feeling. The things that crept in the shadows, the attacks that went on every night, almost like clockwork. It was a place that she would be happy in for a long time. The city was just crawling with evil, and she planned to get rid of it in time.  
  
Still, she couldn't help but relish the darkness that seeped into almost every corner and alleyway. It was where she flourished. Cordelia caught the eye of a homeless scraggler, barely able to sit up, he was so drunk from the liquor he'd bought with the day's change he'd collected. Even though his vision was empty, as if he was seeing nothing, he managed a smile towards her. He was leering at her. Cordelia fought down a sudden wave of anger and continued walking. She hated men and their arrogance, something she'd always done since she was a little girl. Cordelia often found herself wishing they would just disappear someday, since she herself had no use for them. Just know-it-alls who felt they were better than anything, the lot of them.  
  
They could all wither away and die, for all she cared.  
  
  
  
  
LOS ANGELES  
Cordelia jumped, startled, when she heard the door to the front of the hotel slam unexpectantly. A moment later, Angel strode into the room, his dark eyes unreadable to her, as usual.   
  
"Have fun playing Dark Avenger?" she asked lightly, inwardly hoping he didn't yell at her for the comparison.  
  
Instead, he just raised an eyebrow at her as he shrugged off his duster,"I don't exactly have fun, Cordelia."  
  
She didn't answer for a few seconds. When she did, she was much more hesitant,"Run into anything strange?"  
  
"No," he shook his head tiredly,"a few vamps and a Brachist demon, but that was it."  
  
Cordy fought down a witty remark. This was not the time for such things, and since being with Angel, she'd come to know the difference in situations,"Oh." was all she said.  
  
He didn't say anything more, and silence descended on the two once again. Cordelia didn't try to break it, she just found the Vogue for the month and began flipping through it nervously. She knew any attempt at conversation with Angel would be wasted, since he tended to go on the 'no-talking' end of things of late. Even more than usual.  
  
She was in the advice part of the issue, and Cordelia rolled her eyes,"Like they can't just figure out what to do on their own." She moved to flip the page, but the top column caught her eye, and she couldn't help but read the problem.  
  
...One of my friends was killed in a car wreck not too long ago, and the whole town was devastated, including me. I've managed to try to move on, but my best friend used to date her. In fact, they went out for a year before they broke up. He's not handling it well, and I want to help him, but I don't know what to do to help him move on...  
  
Yeah, join the club, she thought miserably as she risked a glance over at Angel, who was sitting on the couch, staring at nothing. She began to read the advice given to the girl, but a sudden flash of pain made her blink,"Oh no."  
  
It was then that the vision hit, and Cordelia didn't even feel herself falling from the chair, she was so enthralled in it. The dizzying arrays of light and sound flashed through her head before she even had time to process them, and when it was over, she found herself on the floor, in Angel's strong arms.   
  
"Pills. Now." she managed to choke out.  
  
He nodded, and was gone for a few moments. When the vampire returned, he brandished a bottle of Extra Strength Tylenol and a bottled water for her. Cordy gulped the pills greedily, then concentrated on what she'd seen.  
  
"Uh...some kind of demon," she muttered as she massaged the bridge of her nose slowly,"it's-it's behind a club."  
  
"A club?"  
  
She held a hand up to silence him,"It's not an open club. In the historic district of town there used to be a dance club called...," Cordelia closed her eyes briefly,"Studio 56. A knock-off of the real thing, I guess. It's behind that.You'll see the old sign."   
  
Angel nodded as he made his way to the courtyard where the others had ended up,"Do you know what kind of demon?"  
  
"Hold on," Cordy fought down the tears that were welling in her eyes from the intense pain that felt as if a railroad spike was being driven through her skull,"it's big. That's pretty much a given...it's yellow," she took a deep breath,"I think it's got horns around it's head. Oh!" she stopped Angel before he walked out of the hotel,"there's something blue behind it, strangely enough."  
  
The vampire frowned,"A portal. It came through a portal," he turned away,"we're going to have to close it."   
  
"Great," she muttered bitterly,"more portals. When will the fun ever stop?"  
  
  
  
  
  
NEW YORK  
Cordelia let a resounding sigh escape her that echoed across the bare apartment that she occupied. The place was sparsely decorated, sparsely being nothing but some chairs, a bed, and a refrigerator in the kitchen containing various sandwich meats, which was the extent of her diet. Some may think that it was an awful way to live, but she preferred it to the shallow luxury that made up most homes in New York. If anything, she was the exact opposite of a luxury lover. She just saw no point in it.  
  
She plopped herself down in the nearest chair and shrugged her jacket off her tan shoulders. She didn't own a television set, and it was just as well. She didn't have time for tele shows that just induced stupidness in the population. Besides, all she did at home was eat and sleep and train.   
  
For a moment, Cordelia just sat there, reflecting on what this great, new world would bring to her. More kills,"Pure bliss." she whispered with a contented sigh. What more could a girl ask for, after all? As if giving an answer, her stomach rumbled mightily, and she stood up,"Hungry." she grumbled as she headed to the small kitchen to fix herself a few sandwiches. Dusting vamps did that to her.  
  
As she turned, however, a blue glow caught her attention, down in the alley below her apartment. The light was obviously supernatural. She would bet all the money she had (which wasn't much) that it was bad. Without hesitating, she grabbed her jacket and headed toward the door, intent on making whatever it was that was down there pay for interrupting her dinner.  
  
  
  
  
  
LOS ANGELES  
"'Stay', he says," Cordelia spat out as she rubbed her temples,"'you'd just be in the way.' he says," she let out a sigh of frusteration,"like I can't handle myself."  
  
  
After the troops had been rallied, Angel had told her right out that he didn't want her with them. He had said it quite bluntly, in fact, and Cordy couldn't help but feel a little resentment. She hadn't been spoken to like that before, and she didn't like it.   
  
With a grim determination that could only come from being the most stubborn girl at Sunnydale High, she grabbed her jacket and headed for the door,"I'm the one that gave them the friggin' address," she snapped to no one,"and he thinks I can't go?"  
  
She clicked the lights off and entered the night, intent on finding her friends and a vampire who had serious PMS going on.   
  
One taxi ride and a driver who tried to hit on her later, she was at the old club from her vision, and the sounds of violence that came from behind the worn-down building told her the battle was still going strong.  
  
The first thing she saw when she found them was the huge throbbing portal. It pulsated with a violent blue light that made her eyes hurt, and for a moment, she was taken aback by how unnaturally beautiful it was. She took a few steps toward it.  
  
Then, she noticed what was in front of it. A huge yellow demon that stood on two spindly legs and with toes that ended in razor sharp claws. It's arms were long and also ended in weapons, and Cordy found herself shuddering at the thought of how much damage those things could do. And obviously, it had succeeded. By the looks of him, Angel hadn't been quick enough to avoid those claws every time. He was almost completely covered in blood from head to toe.  
  
"Cordelia!" Gunn yelled, and she turned to see him running at her full speed. Through her squinted eyes, she could see that he was waving his arms crazily, and she watched him, confused. She whirled around, afraid there was something behind her, but when she saw nothing, she turned to regard him again. Something was definitely wrong.  
  
It was when he was a few feet away that she could make out his words clearly, and she felt a deep dread in her heart when she registered them.  
  
"MOVE!!"  
  
Before she could even react, a stream of green magick, moving faster than she could keep track, was streaking toward her. It was en route to the demon and the portal, but she stood in it's way.   
  
And that wasn't a good thing.  
  
  
  
  
NEW YORK  
Cordelia was already pissed off enough that she hadn't gotten down there in time to kill the first ugly demon that had gone through. What was ticking her off even more was the fact that the other one, just as ugly and yellow as the first, was trying to go through her to follow it's friend.  
  
"No can do," she hissed. The demon knew she was between it and another dimension, and it looked as if it didn't care. With a roar, it rushed her, and she swung back to give it the hook of it's lifetime, only to be blown off her feet by an unnatural wind that had blasted from the portal.  
  
"What the-," something was coming through to her side.  
  
  
  
  
LOS ANGELES  
When the light hit her, all Cordy could think about was the feeling that she was about to go spinning off in every direction from the pressure. It pulled at her from all sides, and she screamed, tried to move, but it was too late. The magick had it's hold on her, and she was being sucked toward the rip in their dimension along with the green light.   
  
Out of the corner of her eye, through the light and the blur, she could see Gunn and Wesley sprinting to reach her. But they couldn't. She was moving too fast. She saw Angel's face, in vampire form, saw the horror and surprise, right before the demon swung a huge clawed arm and knocked him to the ground.  
  
Then, only darkness.  
  
  
  
NEW YORK  
The girl flew through the hole and landed, unconsious, on the ground, her back to Cordelia. Something had happened on the other side to do this. All she could do, however, was let out a little yell of surprise when she felt the violent tugging coming at her from the portal. She could only stare at the second demon as it turned and began to lope away, discouraged, as she began to be dragged.  
  
It wanted to make friends, she supposed.  
  
Unfortunately, she couldn't keep her ground, and she was pulled violently into the blue portal that had spit the girl out moments before. She had no idea where the ride ended, either.  
  
  
  
  
LOS ANGELES  
Angel had been blindsided. After he'd seen Cordelia, who shouldn't have been there in the first place, he had lost his concentration completely and had taken a hard hit that had knocked him to the ground. He didn't register the pain, however. Cordelia, his Cordelia, was gone, in another dimension. There was no telling where she had been pulled to.  
  
The demon stared down at him with hard, predatory malice, and Angel had the distinct feeling that unless a miracle happened, it was over.   
  
Of course, that was about the time that something landed on the creature, hard, and before it could even turn to face it's attacker, strong, yet delicate hands were there, reaching around it's callused head. Whoever it was broke it's neck with one swift crack.  
  
Boy, the sense of humor the Powers That Be had.  
  
For a few moments, the only sounds there were came from Wesley and Gunn, panting from the running. None of them could really believe Cordy was gone...  
  
Then, Angel's heart lightened, because standing in front of him was Cordelia,"Cordy?" he struggled to stand, weak from the beating he had taken from the demon.   
  
What stared back at him was a pair of cold, hard eyes, frozen from any emotion. That was the first clue that their Cordy was not the one standing in front of them. He took her in and noticed the hair, which was incredibly short, and the outfit. She was wearing a skin-tight black tanktop with leather pants and boots. Not even close to Cordelia's style.  
  
"Who are you?" he asked, and he noticed his voice was much more cautious than before.  
  
She didn't answer, just tensed and backed up a step. He started to ask her again, but his question was cut off when she pulled a stake from her pants and dove toward him, quicker than Cordelia ever could've done. Angel was so taken aback all he could do was put his arms up in a futile gesture of self-defense. A moment later, he was on the ground (again) with the Psycho-Cordelia above him.  
  
"Vampire," she hissed as she put the point to his chest.  
  
Angel winced as the pressure sent a wave of pain through his body. The stake was pushing against a bloody slash that stretched from his left shoulder to his stomach. He panicked a moment when he realized that, yes, his vamp face was still on and that this new-and-improved Cordy was much stronger than him at the moment, given his condition.  
  
"What the Hell?!?" Gunn yelled.   
  
For a moment, she hesitated, then pushed the point of the stake into Angel's chest. The intense pain almost made him pass out, and he gasped. She meant business,"Don't take another step, or your friend is dust."  
  
Her voice held a thick underclassmen British accent, and Angel knew the girl was from a long way away.  
  
"Okay. You're not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy, so why don't you just put that thing down." Gunn said gently,"it's not what it looks like."  
  
In response, she pushed the stake even further into Angel, and he bit down a scream,"Oh, I think it is. This. Is. A. Vampire. I kill vampires."  
  
Angel tried to squirm away, but she only straight armed him and slammed him to the ground. Then, as if it were an afterthought, she twisted the piece of wood in a complete circle in his bloody chest. This time, he clamped his eyes shut as the white stars exploded in his vision. Next time he wouldn't be so lucky in controlling himself. The act was torture on him, and she knew it.  
  
"Please," Wesley's voice floated to him through the haze of pain,"realize that this is a completely different dimension that you're from. Things aren't exactly as they seem here," the ex-watcher hesitated,"he has a soul."  
  
Above Angel she paused, then withdrew the stake quickly. With a gasp of relief, he went limp. His chest was throbbing with the agony, and he knew it'd be awhile before he'd heal completely. When he was finally able to focus on her, she was still holding the stake above his chest,"Don't try anything," she growled,"you're too weak, and just know that I will take my sweet time finishing you off."  
  
A moment later, Gunn and Wesley were on either side of him. They helped him to a sitting position, and while Angel was feeling as if the odds were a little better, he didn't take his eyes off Cordelia (if that was her name) and the stake, stained by his own blood. It looked as if she'd been born to hold that piece of wood, making her all the more dangerous.  
  
"Cordelia?" he asked softly, wincing as he touched the hole in his chest.  
  
She narrowed her eyes,"I don't know any of you. How do you know who I am?"  
  
Wesley pushed his glasses up,"So you are Cordelia."  
  
She nodded, but didn't relax in the littlest bit. Her stance was still that of a defensive one, and Angel knew she wasn't one to trust anybody.  
  
"Did you-," Angel hesitated,"did you see a girl before you came through? Same color hair, but a little longer? Highlights?"  
  
"Actually, she looked axactly like you," Gunn put in helpfully,"she'd be the sane twin." he muttered. She looked as if she hadn't heard that last comment.  
  
Cordelia nodded again,"She came through right before I was thrown over here with you people." she said the last two words as if they were acid, and all three men flinched. She obviously didn't like them.  
  
"So she's over there in No-Man's land." Gunn said with a frown,"we have to get her back."  
  
Cordelia looked as if she really didn't care,"Where am I?"   
  
"Los Angeles." Angel answered quietly.  
  
She frowned deeply, "She must be in New York."  
  
"How could this happen?" Angel turned to Wesley slowly, his eyes pleading for an answer, any answer.  
  
The man sighed,"At the moment, I have no idea. It's a strange coincidence to begin with that the portal would be between two dimensions with two different Cordelias. Or moreover,"he added thoughtfully,"that they should happen across them at the same time."  
  
"But she's alright." Gunn said, not really caring how the Cordelias were switched.  
  
"She should be able to find food and shelter there, if she must," Wesley nodded,"I believe she'll be able to survive until we're able to get to her."  
  
  
  
  
NEW YORK  
Cordelia awoke with a yelp on cold, hard cement that reminded her of Sunnydale's old movie theater. There was trash everywhere. It was as if no one had even thought about being litterbugs. It was then that she knew she wasn't in beautiful California.   
  
"Where am I?" she whispered as she pushed herself to her feet. She was shaky and sore, obviously brought on by her rather unceremonious trip to the ground through the portal. She had no idea where she was.  
  
"You're in New York, Kid."   
  
Cordy whirled to face the owner of the voice and was surprised to see the little man standing before her. He had on an old-fashioned hat with one of the worst suits she'd ever seen. Tacky in it's purest form. Still, she couldn't help but be drawn to the man's eyes. There was so much kindness there...he reminded her of Doyle. So much gentleness, yet so much sadness from years of pain and tragedy.   
  
Despite her alarm, she didn't feel the least bit threatened,"Who are you?"  
  
He smiled and took a step toward her,"The name's Whistler," he stuck out a hand,"pleased to meet ya, Kid."  
  
She didn't answer, just smiled uncertainly back. If he meant to hurt her, he would've done it by now, right? As she shook his hand, she couldn't help but feel the slightest twinge of familiarity between them. It was almost as if she was connected to him spiritually or mentally. Weird.  
  
"Are you here to help me?"  
  
He nodded,"I was sent to find you personally. Across dimensions, in fact, and you must be pretty important if they're willing to pay the transportation fees."  
  
Cordelia frowned,"You can jump between dimensions?"  
  
Whistler smiled gently,"I prefer to call them existential planes, and yes, I can. When they want me to."  
  
"They?"  
  
He looked like he was surprised with her,"The Powers That Be, Kid. You're not the only one running errands. I just do the bigger stuff."  
  
So that was why she thought she knew him. They were both working for the PTB.   
  
"Let's take a walk."  
  
She followed him out of the alley and toward a run-down apartment building that was around the corner. When he opened the squeaky door for her, she frowned, curious as to where they were going, but she aaid nothing as they headed toward the stairs and began to climb. After three flights, he led her into a hallway.  
  
He pulled a key from his ugly jacket pocket and led her to a door, number 56,"This is where you live."  
  
"Yeah right," she snorted, but couldn't hold down the small hitch in her voice. It was where she had lived, albeit in Los Angeles and on the second floor, but it had been home to her for a few months. It was all she had been able to afford. She was lucky her recent apartment had come so cheap (ghosts tended to do that), and if not for the haunting Cordy would be stuck in the same place, or worse.  
  
"She's stuck in the same rut as you are, Kid, it's just lasting a life-time for her."  
  
"Her?" she was still a bit unclear about what Whistler was talking about, and he saw it in her eyes.  
  
Whistler nodded,"This would be you, if something would've been done differently. As we speak, Angel and the others are dealing with a Cordelia that is, quite simply, needing some therapy."  
  
"Oh my God," she breathed,"there's actually another one of me?"  
  
"Hundreds, Kid. There are parallel dimensions created every day based on choices. This choice, you go one way. The other you didn't go with, you've created a whole other place."  
  
Cordy shivered, suddenly very disturbed with the thought of how many dimensions must exist. There would be no possible way to count them,"Okay, why are you telling me this?" she asked him, thoroughly confused as to why she would need this info.  
  
For a moment, Whistler looked incredibly sad,"Because, Kid. They want to make sure you get back to your world. You've got a lot of things to accomplish. Dying here isn't gonna help you reach your goals," Cordelia gasped, and he gave her that crooked, kind smile again,"just think of it as an intervention."  
  
"I...I die here?"  
  
"Not now." he seemed satisfied with that answer, and he turned away to turn the key in the rusty lock. Then, he pushed the dor open with a flourish and stepped aside to let her in first. She took advantage of the offer and stepped into the apartment. With a frown, she studied the sparse, stained walls and the dirty couch in the middle of the living room. Obviously, this Cordelia didn't get into the accessorizing parts of life.  
  
"So," she said, turning to look at him,"when do you think-," but nobody stood in the doorway. She was completely alone in the apartment. All that remained of Whistler's presence was the key that laid on the floor just outside the doorway, left for her use.  
  
"When do you think they'll be able to find me ?" she finished her sentence to herself, then looked around the grimy apartment, completely at a loss of what to do,"where's Wesley when you need him?" she groaned.  
  
  
  
  
LOS ANGELES  
Cordelia stared at the men as they helped to support Angel through the door of the hotel,"Drop him, and he'd probably be able to make it himself." she spat out hatefully.  
  
"Good to know what you think of me." Angel grimaced as one of the many deep slashes on his stomach pulled.  
  
Wesley glared right back at Cordelia,"Indeed." he grunted with Angel's weight as he helped the vampire to the couch.  
  
"Would it be bad to say that I want our Cordelia back?" Gunn asked as he straightened.  
  
"Look. I'm not here to listen to you whine," she hissed as she took a few steps toward them,"I'm here to find a way back to my dimension," Cordelia ran a hand through her short hair,"men. Disgusting creatures."  
  
"Can I ask?" Gunn looked at her with raised eyebrows,"do you shave your legs?"  
  
"Gunn." Wesley chided.  
  
He shook his head,"All the women who's independant. Throw your hands up at me...," he sang softly, ticking his glance at her. When she looked like she could kill, he stopped the performance abruptly.  
  
"Gunn, get the bandages. A lot, please," Wesley told him,"I'll start with the research. If I'm not mistaken, there should be something in the Omega Volumes about dimension travel...,"  
  
"Why not just take a ride in the convertible again?" Gunn asked as he returned carrying a big box of First Aid Bandages,"I'm sure that spell for Pylea is still lying around here somewhere."  
  
Wesley began searching through the many piles of old tombs that were piled everywhere, evidence of their last battle,"Because each dimension isn't exactly the same in all senses of the word. It may take a completely different type of ritual to make the jump to another dimension safely."  
  
"Just find it fast," Angel said quietly as he pulled off his shirt. The piece of clothing wasn't even identifiable anymore, it had been torn so many times. Underneath, the wounds were exposed completely in all their goriness, and Gunn tsked.  
  
"You got a boo-boo." he said as he began to unravel the bandages.  
  
The vampire only rolled his eyes.  
  
They were silent for a few moments, until the door to the hotel lobby opened and a timid Fred made her way into the living room,"Fred." Wesley said, surprised,"I thought you were-,"  
  
"They don't like me anymore," she said quietly,"they said I'm funny now."  
  
Angel gave her a gentle smile,"You're not funny. They've just changed a lot."  
  
Fred only pushed her glasses up on her nose nervously, then spotted Cordelia,"Who are you?"  
  
"Huh?" Gunn asked, surprised,"that's Cordelia's face staring back at you, plain as day, Fred."  
  
She shook her head,"That's not her. She may have the same name, but that's not her."  
  
Cordelia frowned coldly, sending out signals that Fred was already beginning to grind on her nerves.  
  
"Ah, Fred," Wesley said from behind a rather large pile of books,"why don't you assist me with something? I'll explain everything to you."  
  
After a moment, she noded, then headed over to the Englishman.  
  
Gunn slapped a bandage on a deep cut particularly hard, and Angel groaned,"Gunn, let me do it."  
  
The man stood up, confused,"Why?"  
  
"Because you very nearly made me pass out."  
  
Gunn frowned,"Whatever."  
  
"Baby," Cordelia turned to regard a Vogue magazine on the coffee table, a few months old,"hers, I'm assuming."  
  
"Yeah," Angel muttered as he took another bandage.   
  
She picked it up,"Stupid people follow the trends and go by books of paper with advertisements on every page."  
  
"Man, you're one of those people that don't get invited to anything, aren't you?" Gunn said with a sigh.  
  
"I simply keep my priorities straight." she answered, a trace of hurt in her otherwise unemotional voice.  
  
"I just can't believe two of the same person can be so different." Angel said, almost to himself.  
  
Cordelia choked back a laugh,"You're not serious, are you? You mean to tell me that you have actual thoughts? Feelings?"  
  
"Is that a problem?" the vampire answered.  
  
She didn't answer, just stared at him as if he were a rare and magnificant speciman as he rose and grabbed an extra black shirt from the armchair. Which, technically, he was, being the only vampire in the world to have a soul. Under the intense scrutiny of her eyes, Angel felt himself wishing to be somewhere that was away.  
  
"Could you not do that?" he asked, pulling the clothing on over his head.  
  
Cordelia frowned even more, if that was possible, and turned away to begin pacing the room,"I guess some things are just too strange for even me." she muttered, knowing that Angel could hear it.   
  
Yeah, he thought, even stranger that we can love, too.  
  
  
  
  
  
NEW YORK  
Cordy had just gotten finished crying, long and hard,when the first rock came crashing though her window, the one that faced the alley she'd just been thrown into. With a scream, she ducked behind the couch. The window was high, and she knew the only things that could throw that far were supernatural creatures that more than likely weren't making a social call. It was when more followed in quick succession that she knew that they maent business.  
  
"Won't you come out and play?" a voice called, rough and animalistic. Other voices, including growls and curses, floated up from below, and Cordelia whimpered as she trembled behind the couch,"Whistler?" she whispered, terrified. Wasn't he supposed to make sure she didn't die?  
  
She looked around wildly, hoping that he would just appear and save the day. When he didn't, she knew that she was in very big trouble.  
  
  
  
  
  
LOS ANGELES  
"Ah ha!" Wesley yelled from behind a book,"here it is. 'To travel between human dimensions one must first return to the place of an original portal...," he drifted off, then came back to them,"...it's a simple Latin spell, with the use of hemlock, crow's blood and claws...," he looked up at them,"all ingredients used in alternate dimension jumping. I believe I've got them, too."  
  
Gunn jumped up,"Then let's go. There ain't no telling what that girl's gotten herself into." Everyone followed close behind him and made their way to the door, all save for Wesley, who was gathering the ingredients, and Cordelia, who hadn't moved from her position in front of the counter where she'd ended up five minutes ago.  
  
"Cordelia?" he asked gently.  
  
She didn't turn to look at him,"That vampire can really love someone as a dear friend, can't he?"  
  
He paused a moment,"He can love more than that."  
  
"She doesn't realize how lucky she is, having people that care," she hesitated,"I've never known it."  
  
Cordelia finally moved away and turned to look at him, revealing a picture of Wesley, Cordy, Gunn, and Angel, one that was among only a few. It had been taken right before they'd gone to Pylea, and it had been a very rare moment of happiness for all of them. While Angel looked like he'd rather be in sunlight than with them in the picture, it was obvious he was still content being with them...with his best friends.  
  
Wesley started to say something, words of comfort, but she was already walking towards the door. With a sigh, he lowered his head and began to scoop everything up in his arms,"Hold on, Cordy," he whispered as he hurried toward the door,"we're coming."  
  
  
  
  
NEW YORK  
"Ohmigodohmigodohmigod....," she was panicking. Cordy had no idea what to do. She knew if she went down there, she would surely die. But she also knew that she would only have a few precious moments before they came to her. And then, they'd be even more pissed off that she didn't confront whoever or whatever was down there.  
  
"Okay, doll. You left us no choice," the leader of the group called to her,"if you don't come down, we'll come up. Nothing wrong in making a house call."  
  
Cordelia suddenly wished Angel was beside her, protecting her. Why did she have to go find them? If she hadn't been too stubborn to stay at the hotel, none of this would've happened,"Yeah. Great move," she scolded herself as the sounds of the door buckling from who-knew-what's feet down below. It was only a matter of time now.  
  
  
  
  
LOS ANGELES  
The five stood in a rough circle, with Wesley in the middle, as he recited the Latin from the dusty leather volume. They were all there because he needed them all for the mental and spiritual power they held. If it hadn't been the case, Fred would've surely been at the hotel, safe and sound. But it was too late for regrets now.  
  
He was going quite quickly and was stumbling over the words, but there was no time for caution when he was almost positive Cordelia was in some kind of trouble in the other dimension. As he spoke, the portal appeared behind them, throbbing with newly energized power, and as the light grew brighter, he said the words even faster.   
  
After the spell was recited and repeated, Wesley touched the crow's claw that lay in front of him, surrounded by the other ingredients,"Touch the claw," he ordered,"then grab hands. And don't let go." he couldn't stress that enough. If someone lost his or her grip, they would go spinning into another dimension, where they would be virtually impossible to track.  
  
Everyone did as they were told, and when he was convinced that they were ready, he led them toward the hole in between worlds. The opening seemed as if it didn't want them, however, because a strong blast of icy air gusted toward them, making it all the more harder to continue on.  
  
"Don't let go!" the wind was howling now, and Wesley was almost thrown to the side, it was so strong. Still, he trudged through the resistance, and with a last look to assure that everyone was still there, he leapt through the hole.   
  
At first, all he saw was a blinding white light that made him clamp his eyes shut. Behind him, he heard Gunn cursing and Angel growling, no doubt from the wounds that were being pulled at that weren't completely healed, and he knew they were still there. He had Cordelia's hand, and he gave it a squeeze to make sure she was alright. As a sign, she dug her sharp nails in his palm, and Wesley winced, but didn't let go, as much as he wanted to.   
  
Then, the light was gone, and he looked to see that they were quickly heading toward another hole, and through it, he saw the grimy floor of an alley. Before Wesley could slow the descent, they were all tossed harshly to the ground, and he felt a boot connect with the back of his head. It was surely Cordelia. One by one, the others landed beside him and Cordelia.   
  
"At least we're all accounted for." he managed to wheez as he rose.  
  
With a yell, Cordelia was up,"My apartment!" then she was running at full speed, and they had no choice but to follow.  
  
  
  
  
  
Griffin led the charge as the made their way up the stairs to the huntress' apartment. Including him, there were three Fyaeral demons that wanted to settle some things with her. Along with them were four vampires that didn't want to see the demon movement go up in smoke with her arrival.  
  
So, they were going to take care of the little tramp, make sure she never bothered them again.  
  
When they entered the hallway, he growled, low and dangerous, anticipating the kill. Oh how it would be sweet-  
  
Then he slammed, full speed, into an invisible wall. Behind him, the others let loose howls and roars of frusteration. Someone had put a protective barrier up,"What do we do, Boss?" came a high voice that belonged to one of the vampires.  
  
With a curse, he shoved at the wall as hard as he could, then let loose a series of punches on the thing. It weakened in resistence slightly, and he knew that it would break down in a few short minutes.  
  
"We push through." he answered with an evil smile.  
  
  
  
  
"Hey, Kid," Cordy spun to face Whistler, and he shrank back slightly under the heat of her glare.  
  
"I thought you said you were gonna keep me from dying!" she yelled.  
  
He nodded,"I am."  
  
"I don't consider this-,"  
  
"They're not here, are they?" he asked with a wave of his hand. Then, he took a step toward her,"I can only delay them until your real help comes."  
  
Cordelia frowned, glanced at the door nervously,"Why don't you just make them not come at all? You're the one that's so close to the PTB."  
  
"No. I'm just a pawn," he smiled at her, then clasped her trembling hand in his own,"I've got it covered. Kind of."  
  
She snorted, but didn't say anything.  
  
He looked down a moment, then squeezed her fingers reassuringly,"Don't look for me. I'll only be there when they want me to be."  
  
Cordy nodded as the sound of a massive window shattering echoed down the hall,"That's them," he whispered,"see ya later, Kid. And...give this to Angel for me."   
  
His hand started to glow underneath hers. It was a calming golden light that warmed her whole body, and despite the fact that she was about to face some serious bad guys, she sighed with contentment. Then, she felt the glow enter her own hand, and she watched as it made it's way up her arm and into her chest. After a moment, it stopped right above her heart, and was gone.  
  
"Sure." she whispered.   
  
The strange, silent moment was interrupted by the violent banging on her door, and Cordelia jerked, pulled back to the present, and stared at the door worriedly,"We have to find something-," she turned back, only to find him gone yet again,"Bye." she said to no one.  
  
The creatures behind it had begun to kick, and with a final, dying groan, the wood collapsed, leaving a wide open way into the apartment. What met Cordelia was terrifying. Three huge demons with horns curled around their green heads like a mountain goat's stared at her, and she whimpered as she took in their height and clawed hands and feet. Behind them, four vampires, in full vamp face, growled hungrily.  
  
"We hear you've been stirring up trouble, Sweety," said the vampire in front. His hair hung in dark, mousy strands down to his shoulders, and he looked as if he'd been a bouncer for a seedy strip bar when he had lived. She recognized his voice as the one she'd heard below the window. With another whimper, she backed away from them, and the front vampire laughed, low and cruel.  
  
"Don't take it personal. We're just responding to a complaint." he said, almost gently, as they made their way toward her.   
  
Despite what Whistler had promised, Cordelia still had the feeling that she was going to die unless something happened very soon.  
  
And it did. With a yell, someone flew at the group of demons from the doorway and landed on the back of a Fyaeral demon. The person had short dark hair, but was small. Still, the demon looked as if it wasn't enjoying being the pony in a piggy-back ride, and it bucked violently to throw it's attacker off. The person held on, and after a few moments, started throwing punches at the demon's head.  
  
Then, Cordy heard her name, and she saw Angel, Wesley, Gunn, and Fred come running to join the fight,"What took you so long?" she demanded, even as they each took their own demon, except for Fred, and raged their own assaults. With a roar, the leader whirled around to face her, hate in his golden eyes, and before Cordelia could react, he had his strong arm wrapped around her neck. She yelped and struggled to get loose, but he held on.  
  
"Angel!" she managed to choke out, and the vampire turned toward her just as he dusted a small blonde vamp that closely resembled David Spade, strangely enough.   
  
He made his way toward her, stake raised high, but she knew he wouldn't get there fast enough. Almost as if to seal the deal, he was cut off by another vampire, this one taller and darker. Behind her, the vamp leader chuckled,"Pity. They can't save you."   
  
Then, he jerked and grunted with pain. Cordy was free a moment later, and she spun in just enough time to see the vamp staring at her savior before he exploded into dust,"Thanks a lot." Cordelia said, then froze, because staring back at her was...her. The other Cordelia had shorter hair and was wearing an outfit she wouldn't be caught dead in, but as far as physical attributes went, they were identical.  
  
"Wow," she whispered, shocked beyond words, even though she'd already known of her doppleganger. It was one of the most freaky things to see herself from another dimension staring right back at her. Apparently, the other Cordelia was just as weirded out, because she seemed frozen to the spot too.  
  
"Cordelia!" Wesley yelled, and they both turned to see him down, with a huge demon above him. They took off, with the other Cordelia in front, since she looked as if she'd been trained for this kind of thing since she was small. Herself, on the other hand, had been busy with things like dolls and toys.  
  
Cordelia watched, awed, as Cordelia 2 landed a hard roundhouse kick to the demon, then followed through with a series of punches so precise and hard that the creature stumbled under the onslaught. Then, she grabbed it's head and broke it's neck in one swift move. Cordelia1 shivered, disturbed by what she'd just seen. Herself, killing something so unemotionally and heartlessly...it was something that made her turn away a moment to gain control of the sickness she felt.  
  
"Cordelia," she turned back to see Fred beside her, looking quite relieved to see her,"you're the real one."  
  
She nodded,"Yeah. The one from our world, anyway."  
  
They both heard a roar of anguish and pain, and Cordy watched as Cordelia 2 finished the last demon off. Again, Cordy fought the urge to throw up, and she looked down a few moments.  
  
Then, they were all around her, save for Cordelia 2, who was examining her door, hugging her and asking if she was alright. All she could do was smile as they talked.  
  
When they finally grew silent, waiting, she answered,"I'm...really freaked out, but otherwise okay."  
  
"When you went through that portal-," Gunn started.  
  
Wesley chuckled,"I knew you'd pull through-,"  
  
"How do you feel?" that was Angel, of course.  
  
"Guys," she held up a hand to silence them,"can we just go home?"  
  
Wesley led them toward what remained of the doorway,"Let's be off, then."  
  
"About time," Cordy muttered,"I'm already tired of this stinking dimension," she hesitated as she locked eyes with Cordelia 2, and she waved them ahead,"give us a minute."  
  
When they were gone, she turned to the other Cordelia. Even though all she wanted to do was run away from this horrible universe where she was a cold killer, she only stared into her own, yet different eyes,"Thank you." Those eyes showed perhaps a hint of warmth, but it was buried quickly by a cool carelessness that came from years and years of cutting yourself off from emotion.  
  
"It's what I do." she answered simply, then turned away. She was telling her goodbye, and Cordy turned toward the door, not really quite sure of what to say. She watched Cordelia 2, thought maybe she was going to say 'you're welcome', but she only kept her back to her. Without another word, Cordy left, incredibly sad.  
  
  
  
  
  
The portal was weaker, and fading fast, when they grabbed hands and headed toward the opening. This time, there was no resistance. It was almost as if it knew they were returning to their rightful place. Or dimension.  
  
Cordelia squeezed Angel's and Fred's hands on either side of her, and they squeezed back. As they entered the in-between, she suddenly remembered what Whistler had told her to give Angel. She knew it was important, whatever it was, and she began to run it through her head, over and over.  
  
Whistler wanted to give this to you. Whistler wanted to give this to you...the light blinded her, but she still would not let her concentration falter...Whistler wanted to give this to you...ahead, the opening...Whistler wanted to give this to-  
  
  
  
  
  
NEW YORK  
Cordelia stared at the ruins of her apartment, strangely more upset than she should have been. After all, they were just things. Material posessions that she could care less about. Still, despite that, she felt overtaken by a a deep sadness she'd never felt before, and feeling more alone and cold than she ever had in her violent life, she sank to the floor. There, she put her head in her hands for what seemed like forever, and wept.  
  
  
  
  
LOS ANGELES  
"Angel?" Cordy asked softly as she opened the door to his bedroom. He had been holed up by himself ever since they had returned, obviously not quite over Buffy, which was understandable.  
  
In the darkness, she saw him turn to regard her with those same chocolate-colored eyes she'd come to love. For a moment, she just stood there, unsure of what to say, since she knew what she was about to say would be strange, in the least. Ever since she'd come through the portal, Cordelia had felt as if a haze had lodged itself in her brain. There was something or someone she should've remembered, but for the life of her, she couldn't recall what it was. She did, however, have a strong urge to give Angel something she wasn't even sure she had, and she knew whatever it was had to be important.  
  
"I know this may sound weird, but there's something I have to do." she said as she approached him.  
  
He frowned,"What?"  
  
Cordelia sighed,"Look, I remember a lot of things that happened over there, but when I reach certain points, I can hardly remember anything. It's like someone put a forgetting spell on me or something," she hesitated, then sat down beside him,"and I know I was sent there for a reason. Maybe to find my inner self or whatever, I don't know."  
  
He watched her closely now, curious about where she was getting to.  
  
"I know I'm one of the luckiest girls in the world-our world-having people that love me so much. And-and I just want you to know that I'm here for you through anything, because we love you just as much back," she took a deep breath,"okay. For some reason, I can't help but feel that I have to give you something."  
  
She fell silent, and as he watched, she touched his chest gently, in the place where his heart was. When he winced, she let up a little, but didn't look up. It was then that a beautiful golden glow began to emanate from her own heart, and as Angel watched, it began to move, slowly, down her arm and toward her hand that was held over his heart. Cordelia's eyes were as round as saucers, giving away even her own surprise.   
  
The light was moving into his chest now, and he was overtaken by a calm that he hadn't felt in hundreds of years. It was a calm that slowed time, it was so strong, and Angel found himself smiling as the warm glow spread even more and grew more relaxing. Then, it was gone, and the vampire felt his heart suddenly swell with so many emotions, it was dizzying. He gasped for uneeded air as, one after another, the emotions washed over him.   
  
The strange calm that made his body tingle, it was so relaxing. Then, a wonderful happiness that could only come from peace, which followed shortly after and brought tears to his eyes. A sense of beautiful, melodic harmony came next, and Angel swayed with the rhythm of the perfect music that nobody could hear. Finally, a sense of real, pure hope flooded his soul, and Angel knew that whatever this was, it was a gift from heaven itself, if it truly existed.  
  
Then, it was over just as suddenly as it had started, and the two sat there, frozen in shock and surprise at what had just taken place.   
  
"Wow," Cordy whispered, barely able to suppress her wonder.  
  
All Angel could do was nod as he realized that what he had just recieved was everything and more. The power to move on. The power to honor Buffy and remember her, yet reach out to others instead of grieving. It was what she would've wanted him to do. He had the ability to save souls, it was what he was truly meant to do. He really had a place in the scheme of things.  
  
Suddenly content, Angel smiled at Cordelia, and without a word, they hugged each other tightly. They stayed that way for hours, not saying a word. Not needing to.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
